I'm feeling incredibly down today.
I'm feeling sad. Frustrated. Let down. Lonely.
If you're now thinking "Well, this is awkward..." I honestly don't blame you. Most entrepreneurs are really good at writing about their struggles after they happen with an inspirational turn-around story that screams in a Tony Robbins-type voice "I OVERCAME THIS AND YOU CAN TOO!!!". Those stories are good, and sometimes I even write them myself.
But if I'm being honest, it's easy to write about life's challenges after they've already been solved. The pain, the frustration, and the hopelessness are nothing but dull memories, slowly quieted by our own forgetfulness that comes with time. It's a hell of a lot harder to sit down in the middle of it, heart heavy and mind clouded, and put that pain on paper.
But I'm going to attempt to do it anyway. Why? Because as a solopreneur, I've learned that I cannot separate my "business self" from my "personal self". I'm the same person no matter which way I look at it. And as someone who cares for my business like I would a newborn child, I'm deeply touched by every action, every decision, every success and every set-back that I endure.
That doesn't make me a bad entrepreneur or an unprofessional coach. It just makes me human, and I'm ok with that.
As entrepreneurs, our success isn't linear. There is no way to accurately calculate the amount of risk we're accepting into our lives. And because of it, we have to be open and ready to experience everything this journey will bring us.
In my business this week, I had three major setbacks. Although each was unique and produced various results, they all left me with the same feelings of being unworthy, insecure, and incapable.
And in these moments, I try to tell myself what my mom told me every time I fell and scraped my knee (physically and metaphorically) when I was growing up. "This too shall pass."
In Jen SIncero's book, You Are A Badass, she says that when we're in these deeply troubling moments, it doesn't mean that what we're doing is wrong or that we should quit. Instead, it means that something massively positive is about to happen. Something so powerful that it will change your entire business, your relationships, your life. I have to believe that the challenges I'm experiencing now are only an invitation to welcome in a new era - an era of growth, community, service, and freedom.
But does that mean that I need to pretend like everything is great in the meantime? No. Does it mean that I should burry my feelings? No. Does it mean that I should keep grinding until that big "aha moment" finally occurs? No.
It means that I will take this time for myself. I'll do things a little slower. I'll get some extra sleep. I'll be a human being who deserves kindness from myself before anyone else.
Because ultimately, my business does not define me. I do.